I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
