don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
