Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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