trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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