someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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