Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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