And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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