its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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