does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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