If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
