Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
