I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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