Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
handjob tips. give me some.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize