dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
