They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
