Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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