Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
