you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
