Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
