sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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