Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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