I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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