the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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