Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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