apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
