just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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