Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
