"it" just moved
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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