You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
