why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
