Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
