You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We need a shit load of segways right now
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
