He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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