my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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