so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
