i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
