She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
