Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
