we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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