i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
