I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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