you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize