I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
