So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
