after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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