Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
