You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
