I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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