absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
