Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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