Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You need a sexual gate keeper
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize