that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry about my life...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
