Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
