I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
