I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
