Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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