Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
