Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
