I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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