It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
