I'm going to jail i love you
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
