we made out on top of his cat.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
