yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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