he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
