i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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